Considering Donor Sperm

Getting Emotionally Ready

Although many infants are conceived each year using donor sperm, it is a decision that you and your partner need to be emotionally ready for. For some couples, there is a grieving process that they will go through as they realize that the baby won't be biologically linked to the father.
If you have reached the point where you and your partner are considering sperm donation, it may mean that you have spent many months (and maybe even years) of fertility tests and treatments. This can take its toll on couples, as you may feel like you have let the other down and wonder whether your relationship can take any more medical interventions.
It can be difficult for women and couples to come to terms with the thought of using someone else's sperm to conceive a baby. Or, in some cases, your partner may be uneasy with the thought of not having that genetic connection with the child.
Even when donor insemination may be your only option, it can still be difficult to make the decision. However, learning to keep communication open with your partner can help to bring you closer together and stronger as a couple as you work through these difficult issues.
Learning how to cope during this time of decision-making can also help you through the process. There are a number of donor conception networks and support groups that you and your partner may consider as you decide whether sperm donation is right for you. Also, you may see a counselor who is experienced with the process of infertility and donor insemination. Finding some resources to help you cope can help you work through some of the moral and ethical questions that may come up as well.
Before women or couples go through with donor insemination, your healthcare provider may recommend that you be psychologically ready to proceed with the process. It is essential that both partners are comfortable with the decision and that any concerns or questions are openly discussed.
Last reviewed by: Arthur Schoenstadt, MD
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