Coping With Infertility

Reaching Acceptance

Unfortunately, the diagnosis of infertility is not determined until after months and months of trying to become pregnant on your own (usually six months to a year). This can include days and days of various emotions, including denial, shock, anger, guilt, and feeling like a failure. Once you find some ways to cope with these emotions and work through them, you will find that you have gotten to a place where you begin to accept that you are going to have problems getting pregnant. With acceptance comes healing. You learn to accept your reality, with all of its struggles and failed attempts.
With acceptance comes an inner strength in knowing that you have been down some dark roads and have come out on the other side, with a lot more knowledge than you did going into it. The things that once scared you or took you to the depths of depression will now seem easier to handle once you accept them and learn how to cope with them. You will find a new you, one who affirms her strength, accepts her limits, takes pride in her perseverance, and empathizes with others who are faced with similar obstacles. Once this acceptance settles in, you can take a clear look at your options.

Keeping the Hope

It might be time for you and your partner to look at other options for getting pregnant, depending on the cause or causes of your infertility (if known). Some of these options may include artificial insemination, in vitro fertilization (IVF), surrogacy, or adoption.
Although you may not be able to have a child the way you had wanted, it doesn't mean that a child isn't still in your future. You will have to take a look at the next road you want to travel with your partner. However, having the coping skills you've picked up along the road of infertility will be an enormous help as you continue toward your goal of having a child in your arms.
Last reviewed by: Arthur Schoenstadt, MD
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